Offered to the Triplet Alphas

[Ezra]

I still remember the first time Asher visited the Aile castle after his long absence. He came to us with his brand new toys.This content is © NôvelDrama.Org.

'I didn't unbox them. I thought we could play with them together,' Asher said.

I don't remember if Asher said that with a smile or not, because I was busy observing his eyes that looked dull, tired and pained, as if he had not slept for months. Something Raven failed to notice beyond himself.

'Huh! Show off!' Raven scoffed. 'Trying to act all cool, showing off your petty toys after becoming father's favorite? But let me tell you one thing, Asher: you didn't work for any of this. You don't deserve them. You got it all for free. In fact! You stole all this from us. And we don't talk to thieves!'

Raven smacked the toys from Asher's hands, grabbed my hand, and pulled me away with him.

I had a choice back then: I could have stayed behind and collected those broken toys with Asher, or I could have ignored him.

To this day, I regret the choice I made that day. It was probably then that Asher realized he was all alone, because after that, he never came to us again.

We began ignoring Asher even when he came home for his rare visits, making him feel like something was wrong with him when everything was wrong with us.

We thought Asher was having an easy life, not even realizing that his life was the hardest.

Asher was born perfect - I still loathe myself for believing those words back then.

The pressure on Asher was far more than any of us.

I understood it when Asher visited the Aile castle again and was spending time with mother.

'No! You can't be yourself! No one will accept you as you are. You are my last hope, Asher. Don't disappoint your father. You can't be anything less than perfect. You'll have to change. Why don't you understand?'

I heard mother's trembling voice and when I peeped inside; I saw her grabbing Asher's upper arms, her claws digging into his skin. Blood stained his shirt as he stood impassively before her.

I still can't decide if what I saw that day was a horror or something insignificant because I remember Asher looking into our mother's tearful eyes with blank eyes, as if hope could never touch them again.

When mother realized she had hurt Asher, she fell to her knees and hugged him tightly. The same thing she did with me.

'You'll have to change. You'll have to keep on changing, adapting differently for different people. You'll have to understand their minds, their thoughts, their emotions. Please, son. You'll have to save us. You'll have to do better. Ok? You'll have to become perfect, just the way your father wants. Become the perfect alpha. Maybe then he'll hurt us less. Please hide our failure with your success. Please, son.'

On every visit to the castle, Asher was burdened more and more with my mother's words, our father's increasing expectations, and our insensitivity.

Ever since, he had been shouldering everything himself and every time I recall his childhood, I can't help but wonder how lonely he must have been.

If we were kids, he was too. But since he had to mature before his age because he had no other option, we thought he was adult enough to handle everything on his own.

But things changed a little when Raven had his immortal awakening.

Father threw a party for Raven too, but it was an intimate, family-only gathering.

Raven wanted to have everything back and prove to father that he was much better than Asher.

So, he gave his all to cover the gap between them, but Asher was far ahead of him. There was no catching up with him. Raven kept trying, regardless. He couldn't beat Asher at the big tasks and trainings father planned for them, so he began taking small things from Asher. Things that might have meant something to Asher.

Raven kept trying to fit himself in the mold father had crafted for Asher, but he kept getting hurt and eventually he gave up. He understood he could no longer please our father by reaching the standards Asher had already crossed, so he rebelled and chose a completely different path for himself in his teenage years.

He stopped craving father's attention, but his bitterness for Asher remained. Although I don't think Asher ever considered Raven as a competition.

Years went by and our father succumbed to a mysterious curse of unknown origin. His condition deteriorated, and he became incapable of running the pack.

So, Asher finally took over as the Alpha of our Prime Infernal pack.

Asher was often unavailable. Eventually, he stopped coming home. He took care of our family from afar, yet whenever we needed him, he stood by us like an indestructible support.

We and our family were always his priority, even when he was dealing with the pack matters.

Asher always treated me with kindness, even when I had failed him miserably.

I never got a chance to correct my mistakes or apologize for everything I did to him or things I didn't do for him. And when I wanted to do something for him, it was already too late and Asher was far out of my reach. Only when the things got a bit more stable did I have the courage to ask Asher if we could share his Alpha duties. Asher being Asher agreed to what we wanted.

I knew it wasn't enough to redeem myself, but something was better than nothing. Even if I could share a fraction of his burdens, I would.

That was why I always tried my best to defend him, because I knew he would never do that for himself. I did it out of respect for him and perhaps out of guilt. Also, because we had always taken from him and I feared that one day he might become too empty.

After father was cursified and totally succumbed to the curse, the curse remained dormant for a while and then we began showing symptoms. It was then we found out that the curse father suffered from was a generational curse. A curse passed down from one generation to the other.

I don't fear enduring what my father went through.

In fact, I felt nothing for my father when I saw him suffer day and night in agonizing pain.

If I could break this curse into pieces, I would keep the suffering part all for myself. I don't want to see Asher or Raven undergo such immense, raw pain.

Raven was trying his best to find a better way out of this curse, but dealing with a malignant wordless curse was difficult even for dragons - world's best healers.

The time when the curse would fully activate and manifest in its horrifying form was getting closer. And when that happens, there might not be an escape for the three of us.

But what scared me the most was that one day, when Asher would be hurting deeply, he would come to us with ways to soothe our pain and tell us that everything was fine. He would say he was fine. And I was terrified that I would believe his lies.

***

Just like right now.

Had I not learnt to read his silence, I would have almost believed him when he said-

"I am fine, Ezra."

"Fine, you say?" I smiled and nodded softly, letting the silence linger.

'Fine' was just a small, four-letter word with a meaning more complex to decipher than the most sophisticated poetry ever written. It could mean so much and nothing at the same time. It could hold and hide traumas while also reflecting a terrifying numbness.

'Fine' was a one-word sonnet, a deceptive lie people often told themselves before anyone else when they ran out of words to measure their pain.

"Fine," I said, got up from the chair and placed my hand on his shoulder. "If you are fine, then I don't think you should have a problem going back to Xanthea because she is not fine. She is hurting and not because you hurt her, but because you left her. Let's go!"

Asher shut his eyes, taking a deep breath.

"What's the problem? You said you were fine, so get the hell up and go to her. Talk to her and hear what she has to say-"

"I..." Asher raised his voice and then turned silent again.

I walked in front of him and looked him in his eyes.

"The right people will stay, Asher. They will stay with all your flaws and imperfections." I said. He looked at me, his brows drawing together slightly. "With those people, you can be your worst and still become a better person. I don't know if I'm one of those people for you, but perhaps Xanthea is."

Asher gazed back at me as though I had said something I wasn't supposed to say.

"I'm not blind, Asher. I've never seen you smile as effortlessly as you do around her. I've never seen you as free as you are with her. I don't know how, but she gives you a space to grow naturally. I've noticed you being a little more yourself around her and I have seen her aura embrace you just as effortlessly."

Asher lowered his head, contemplating his palm as though he was imagining holding Xanthea's hand in his.

"So tell me if this is what you truly want? This distance, this isolation? This bare minimum?"

I panted, feeling a tightness build in my chest.

"You don't have to keep living the same life over and over again. You don't have to be perfect to be accepted, to belong. You can be yourself, damn it. And if no one else does, then I'll fucking stay by your side! So please don't fucking close yourself again. She makes you happy, and I am not letting you take that away from yourself!"

The words I always wanted to tell him flowed out of my mouth and I felt a crushing suffocation rumble inside me.

I gritted my teeth, but couldn't hold back my tears.

Asher got up from his chair.

Maybe it was my bleary vision, but his eyes were no longer blank.

"Ezra..."

"You always know what others want the most, so how come you can't see what you want the most right now? I know what you want and it's not this isolation. Please don't do this to yourself again. Please. You must live for yourself because you have merely existed for others all your life. While we still have a chance, let's make the most of it."

Asher shut his eyes, took a deep breath, and nodded.

"Fine. Let's go back to her-"

"You are not going anywhere, Asher..."

Asher and I looked towards the direction of the voice.

My fingers instantly curled into fists as I glared at Viella, Asher's luna candidate.

Strutting out of the darkness, she walked closer to Asher and tossed her phone on the counter that displayed the trending news on the phone screen, posted by an anonymous ID- Bride or Luna?

"I'll not let you go anywhere to anyone... not until you resolve the mess your brother has created," she said, glaring back at me.