My Brother’s Best Friend

Guilt

SKIP

Just bloody marvelous!

DRAWING slow and steady breaths, I faked a smile. My knuckles whitened around the glass of scotch while I stared down the dance floor.

Brett kept glancing at me once in a while, then focused back on the waitress’ arse who served our drinks. She kept coming back asking if we wanted something, and I tried hard not to roll my eyes.

“You should loosen your hand on the glass, Linton. It breaks in a moment if you keep on gripping as if your life depends on it,” Brett lightened up the mood. He knew exactly why I was pissed.

I stood up, leaning against the glass wall. “Is this why you wanna meet me here? To torture me?” My knuckles itched to break my brother’s face for inviting Arella over, but I held on to the thought that Clyve was with her because I couldn’t imagine another man touching her. Just the dance they shared made my blood boil, what more if she was with the other man?

“This is barely torture, mate. I can’t just ignore what you did to my sister, but there is something between us that means a lot to me. And I believe that you didn’t know her back then, but still, you’re the reason why she acted differently.”

“Walking down memory lane is another thing you have on your sleeves, yeah?” I let the scotch burn down my throat. It might help to make me numb but that didn’t change the fact that Arella was dancing with my brother, and not with me.

He huffed. “Here’s a thing, Linton. Do you think I’m doing this to torture you? First, I have no idea your brother asked my sister. All he said was he wanted us to have a good conversation that was why he left us alone. Second, your brother has no bad intention towards my sister, and he doesn’t look at her the way you do. He’s nothing but friendly and makes my sister laugh. And lastly, he doesn’t think my sister naked beneath him, asshole!”

I allowed him to talk whilst I gritted my teeth in anger. My eyes narrowed to Clyve and Arella while his hands were still on her hips.

“Honestly, I trust your brother to stay a night with my sister than with you. I thought I was just overprotective and paranoid when I noticed how you reacted the first time you saw my sister at my parent’s home. So, I let it go.”

Swallowing, I muttered under my breath, “I’m truly sorry.” Thankfully, the VIP lounge was soundproofed. We could have a good chit-chat or pep talk or whatever this shit was all about.

“Just don’t hurt her again. This time, I mean it.” His voice was damn serious. By mean again, I should stay away from Arella or I was going to lose both of them.

“I won’t.”

My brother whispered something to her, making her laugh. It hurt like hell, but I trusted him that he would never cross the line.

“Should I call the firefighter?”

“For what?” My head snapped at him, confused.

“My sister will light up into torch if you keep staring at her like that. It hurts, isn’t it?”

“Just tell me why are you doing this?” I growled, staring at him intently.

He stared back right into my eyes. I knew he saw my vulnerability, but who the fuck cares? If he thought about what happened to me and Arella had no effect on me, he was wrong.

I was furious about losing our child, but I couldn’t hate Arella.

God knows how much I care about her.

She was just barely reaching adulthood when she got pregnant. I might tell her to terminate the pregnancy if we were together at that time. I never ignored calls from the people I cared about, and she stirred the living shit out of me more than anyone in my life.

“I can’t fucking believe this!” His face reddened, sighing in frustration. “Then tell me why are you ignoring her calls?”

“Because I’m fucking guilty!” I yelled and looked away, sucking in a deep breath to calm down because I wanted to punch and throw everything around. God knew how much I wanted to talk to her, but the guilt of losing our child, the guilt of leaving her, and the guilt of how much she suffered alone because of me I couldn’t think straight. I was losing my goddamn mind.

Just the fucking guilt!

He nodded slowly. “She likes you a lot, Skipper, but you hurt her.” He paused. Suddenly, the tension inside the room thickened. And I was bloody suffocated.

“How can I fucking trust you when you were able to hide this from me for seven years? How am I going to trust you again that you’re not going to hurt her? As much as I want to see her happy with you what if your job ends? You’re going to leave her again, aren’t you?” Brett never called me by my first name. It only meant he was beyond pissed and damn serious.

“I’ll stay away from her. I don’t wanna hurt her as much as it hurts me doing it.” My eyes landed on them, leaving the dance floor. My brother was holding her hand, and I had to ball my hand into a fist with anger for what was going on with us-with me and Arella, and with Brett. I just said that I was staying away from her. And it was killing me.

“And what do you exactly mean by staying away?”

I faced him again. “I don’t wanna cause her more pain, Brett. I will trust my perfumer to check the progress of the perfumes they’re creating while I’m still here. She won’t see me unless it’s necessary.”Exclusive content © by Nô(v)el/Dr/ama.Org.

The silence stretched between us. I could feel he wasn’t impressed with my decisions. I knew Brett, his silence meant he had something in his mind.

“She just wants to explain. Why won’t you talk to her for closure?”

“I can’t.”

“And why is that? You two will just talk.”

Because I don’t want closure, can’t you see it?

“It’s hard to talk to her when she looks at me in the eye. She can see through my soul, and I can do the same, then what? We end up hurting ourselves more when I go back to London.”

“Is this really your reason, Skipper? Because I don’t see you as a quitter,” he pointed out.

My emotions went raw. “I can’t believe you’re doing this to me.”

“Well, I can’t let you give up on her! You must have a bigger reason! Do fucking tell me now, why did you ask me to play pool with you?” He grabbed my shirt and pushed me against the glass wall with a thud-it forcibly knocked the air out of my lungs. His eyes were bulging with anger. His nose flared, and that I had no choice but to tell him the truth. I felt like I drain all my strength just thinking of telling him.

“You’re probably right. She was the girl I was talking about when I broke up with my girlfriend. I was not broken because of my ex. I was broken when I found out your sister was getting married. I’d never fell in love with Audrey. I cared about her, but I was not in love. When you sent me an invitation that was when I realized I was in love with Arella all those years. But I can’t leave London, I just started my career and got my father’s trust, and after what happened to Clyve, he still needed me, then…” I rubbed my face in frustration and heartache, and Brett released me. My chest tightened, my heart broke all over again at what I was about to tell him.

“Then, I don’t want to break your trust. You are my best friend, Brett. I slept with your sister who is underage. I committed statutory that’s why…”

The shock of my words reverberated through Brett. The blood drained from his face.

“You ran away. Jesus Christ! You were twenty-one and my sister… Jesus fucking Christ!” Brett turned around, stood still, and looked away.

“I asked you to play pool with me because I wanted to know if you knew what happened between me and her, but I got it that you had no clue. She was one of the reasons why I came back. Not only because of my family business and Mum.”

“I’m sorry, Linton. It almost ruined your future. You did the right thing.” He blinked, running his fingers through his hair. Still processing what I said, he sipped his drink.

“And that right thing had caused your sister to suffer.”

“I get it now. Stop blaming yourself. No one had predicted that to happen.” Brett squeezed my shoulder in sympathy. “You deserve to be happy, mate. And if staying away from my sister will make you at peace, you have my back, but Are will not gonna like it.” A pain frowned crossed his features.

“I’m not doing this for myself. I’m doing this for her.” I gave him a quivery smile. “I need some air.” I walked out, leaving Brett in the lounge. It was hard to admit to him, but he had the right to know. My intention for his sister was genuine, but I never thought of consequences and revelations along the way. It ruined everything I planned.

My chest somehow expanded after spilling my guts to Brett. It was the right thing to do. I slowed down when the love of my life was laughing with my fucking brother. I wasn’t supposed to approach her, but again my plan always changed when I was in front of this woman.

Her eyes widened in shock. Remind me to thank Clyve later because with what she was wearing, those drunk and not drunk arseholes in this club would definitely give a second look. My inner caveman couldn’t stand the thought of men had hot on her. She was stunning behind that glass, but she was beyond right in front of my eyes, and fuck me if her eyes couldn’t draw me closer. They were like magnets.

Before I could realize it, my hand was already gripping her arm and dragging her with me to the hallway where fewer people could see us. I regretted right away to see her rubbing her arm where I almost imprinted my fingers on. Irrational, yes, but I wasn’t in the right mind the moment our eyes met.

This is where you’re best at, skipping.

Her words ripped my heart apart, but I didn’t give a shit if it helped her feel better. I deserved more than that anyway.

I found myself cupping her face and about to apologize for ignoring her. The anticipation in those eyes was impatient, and just the way she looked at me, she would never resist if I slammed my mouth on hers and kissed the hell out of her. Jesus, Reigh! A little whirl of pride swelled my heart.

She’s still mine.

But my guilt pummeled me. What was I thinking?

In one fluid moment, I turned around, walking away from her. Again. Arella sighed in frustration, and it broke my heart to leave her that way. What was stopping me? Because I loved her more than to think first my own selfishness.