Chapter 29: 29
Chapter 29: 29
I stayed at the hammock until I didn't realize I was asleep. I just woke up to scream and laugh coming
from the shore.
And when I looked, they were already playing volleyball. My team is playing against other joiners. They
were filled with laughter every time the ball is not caught and someone falls.
I smiled seeing them enjoying this outing.
I hopped out the hammock and headed at the mess hall to grab some water.
I'm done with my water and was about to leave when I met Russel. He was looking at me. I got
nervous. I looked around for someone else but I couldn't find anyone.
He stepped closer to me so I also stepped away from him. I turned to my side to searched for an exit
and when I found, I immediately ran away.
I even heard him calling me so I even ran away. My heart is beating really fast and I'm starting to see
things.
Those scenes I repeatedly run.
"Jia!" He called me.
But I ignored him. I just ran straight until I reached the end of the island. There is no more sand and
rocks. I climbed one of the rocks and hid behind it.
My tears were falling non-stop and my heart was aching, like my heart was being squeezed.
How could he do that?
Why?
Am I not enough?
Am I still missing something?
What?!
He said it was just me but then I caught him with that woman. He made me look stupid again!
How many times I have caught him? Two? Three? No. Five!
I can't understand why in all I did for him; he still manages to fool me. It hurts like this even though I
love him so much.
He said, I'm more than I should be. But why is this? Is he there again with that woman?
I heard him calling me again. It was closer to where I was hiding so I was confused. I left behind the
rock and moved to the bigger and higher one.
He saw me. I was more confused and climbed easily. But my foot slipped and I fell on the water.
I can't swim and the water is too deep. I struggle to swim but I can't. I can't even float. My sight gets
blurry and my breathing is failing.
I'm going to die ...
"Jianna!" Russel caught me. He hugged me from my hips and put me down from that rock. That rock
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I was stunned as I cried. I was at the same spot where I almost died a year ago. Same place,
circumstance and reason.
I just loved him but why do I have to experience this?
"Why do you have to go back?" I asked him. My tears won't stop from pouring. I was already catching
my breath.
"Jia." He said my name with so much weakness.
He felt weak? Because of what?
"I'm already okay. My life is fine but why do you have to go back and mess everything up again!" I
shouted.
"I'm sorry." He said. Tears started to fall from his eyes too.
He’s crying? What right does he have?
"Sorry?" I laughed. "I'm about to die, Russel!" I continued.
"Have you thought about the pain I've been through over and over again because of you? And how I'm
hurting every day because I can't understand what's missing! What a mistake I made for you to hurt me
over and over again."
"Do you know the pain that I see Mama crying every night because there was nothing she can do to
reduce the pain I feel? How can they see me dying every day that passes because of the extreme pain
I'm feeling?"
"You don't know that! You don't know because you never appreciated me!"
"I love you. I did everything, I gave everything but what did you do? You just hit me over and over."
"Jia." He called me. He tried to touch me but I moved backward.
"I hope you don't come back. I hope you just let me go because I'm so tired of being hurt. I'm tired of
questioning myself. I hope that's all, Russel. I hope that's just your thing, do it you for me. "
"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry." He said, crying hard.
"I don't want to die again, Russel. Please, don't kill me again." I said before turning my back.
But as I do, I saw my team watching us. They were all silent. Ruth and the other girls were crying and
the boys couldn't even look at me.