Chapter 52
EVA
I trudged blindly to the bed and perched on the edge. It smelled like him. Like the jacket he forgot with me that night after the party. I hadn’t washed it since then, hadn’t even worn it. It hung safe in my closet. I touched it from time to time.
Axel dropped down beside me, bracing his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands.
“So you’re saying the past two weeks … All that was because you think I’m a manwhore?” His voice was monotonous, devoid of emotion and I didn’t like that he was starting to make me feel guilty.
“Just give me my phone, Axel. ”
His eyes cut to me. “I missed that. ”
I couldn’t resist asking. “You missed what? ”
“Hearing you call my name. ” My breath hitched
I watched as a sad smile touched his lips. “You always say it in that exasperated tone. Like my mother. ”
I didn’t know what to say to that.
“What made you come to that conclusion? ” he asked.
I considered telling him that it didn’t matter, but then figured I owed him the truth. My guilt was a real motivator in that decision. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had done something wrong.
“Everyone says that, and-”
“What made you think that? ”
Was he serious right now?
“The first time we met? Do you remember that day? ”
He had the decency to look chagrined. “That was a very rough day for me. ”
“Of course it was,” I said sarcastically. “Then there’s the girls that are always at your table during lunch in the cafeteria. ”
He sat up immediately. “Wait. That one isn’t on me. Most of them are either there for Hen or Alex. I-”
“Everyday, Axel. Every single day. I’m not blind. I see you talking to them. ”
His eyes darted away. “Well, yes, I do. But there’s nothing. That’s all it is. Just talk. ”
Was I wrong? Was Laura wrong?
My eyes dropped to the bed and I fingered the duvet, picking imaginary lint from the soft material. I could tell he didn’t like my silence because his hand was on mine in a second, tugging on my fingers. I felt the tug low in my stomach. I watched his big hand move over mine, covering it completely. The skin of his palm was slightly rough and hot and the assault on my nerve endings was too much all at once.
I pulled away.
“Cg…”
I bit back a humorless laugh. I was back to being Cg.
“When we were sitting in the waiting area beside the car park on Monday. ”
He nodded, watching me quietly.
“That girl….. ” He swallowed. I didn’t have to elaborate. “Do you understand why I think you’re a player now? ”
He visibly struggled with his words, and when he couldn’t seem to find them, he dragged a hand down his face with a muttered ‘fuck’.
His mouth opened again. “Look, I understand why you think that. All those scenarios, they were obviously compromising ones, but they weren’t what they seemed. ”Còntens bel0ngs to Nô(v)elDr/a/ma.Org
A huge part of me wanted to hear his explanation, wanted to believe him with everything in me, but at the same time, I was tired of all the lies and everything I was putting myself through. The feelings, the words, the opening up, everything was strange to me and I wasn’t adapting well enough to go through these back and forths so soon.
“My phone, Axel. ” I sounded weak even to my own ears, but I pressed on. “Give it to me. ”
“I will. Just…. wait. ” He shook his head. “Favour has had a crush on me for a long time. We’re talking a year back. She told me about it in SS2 and I felt… I don’t know…. pretty fucking bad that while she felt that way, I didn’t, so we settled on being friends. It was weird as fuck at first when she stared at me like that and hung on to my arm and stuff but I figured she maybe didn’t know when she did it and I think I grew used to it over time and the physical contact … it didn’t bother me anymore. ”
I stared at him blankly, finding it hard to absorb the information.
“Alex, Hen and Vaughn know this. Just ask them. They’ll back my story up. ”
“Why wouldn’t they? They’re your friends and they’re guys. ”
He blinked. “That felt like an insult, but it doesn’t matter right now. Listen, I’m telling the truth. Why won’t you believe me? ”
“It doesn’t matter. You don’t have to explain.” I lifted my hand in a dismissive wave. “There’s no point, anyway. ”
He was out of the bed in a flash and squatting in front of me. My head flew back in surprise at how fast he had been. Sometimes, I forgot he was an athlete.
“There is. ”
“Is what? ” I asked without thinking.
It was rather hard to concentrate with him so close to me. My brain didn’t want to partake in the conversation anymore; it had better things to do, like for instance, taking note of how his briefs strained against his expanded muscles in this position and how the color black was a really good shade against his skin.
His position put us at the same height and I was staring at his eyes within close range for the first time. The emotion I saw in them was unbearable, but he wouldn’t let me look away.
His hands landed on my thighs and I would have jumped out of the bed in shock if I hadn’t seen them coming. The hands slid back until they were on my knees. I looked at him. He was following the movement with his eyes.
“Why did you stay away? ”
My eyes flew up at the abrupt question but he wasn’t looking at me.
“Have you been listening? ”
He ignored my smart ass reply. “Why did you stay away? ” he repeated. “You thought I was a player, yes. But why did you stay away? Why did you want to? ”
I frowned, throughly confused. “Why did I stay away? ” I repeated his question.
I tried to block out the sensation of his hands moving back and forth from my thigh to my knee, and instead, focus on his question. I tried to make it make sense.