74
Because you don’t love me!
Love? Since when had she started thinking about Nicholas along those lines again? She didn’t love him. She loved their son and she wanted him to have the same happy childhood and Nicholas deserved to be a father to him every bit as much as she was a mother to him. He’d hurt her badly, something she would never forget, but now she understood him better, she was prepared to move on from that hurt for their son’s sake. Hadn’t Nicholas proved he deserved that chance? He’d proved his devotion to their son. That was the reason she’d agreed to marry him. The damage he’d inflicted had been too great for him to hurt her again but the passion between them was every bit as strong as it had always been. At least marrying Nicholas meant marrying a man she was happy to share a bed with!
What she must not do, under any circumstance, was think about Nicholas as a child in desperate need of someone to love and care for him, and think she could be the woman to do that.
“I agreed on the proviso you didn’t take charge,” she said.
He raised a brow, the look in his eyes as he brought his face to hers making her pelvis contract. “Really? Because I seem to remember you begging me to take charge.”
She leaned into him, her lips tingling from the whispered heat of his breath… “You’re not doing this again.” She darted away from him and jumped off the bed, hurrying to the far wall.
“Doing what again?”
“Using your magic penis to stop me thinking properly.”
The look he gave her was one of incredulousness. And then his gorgeous face broke into a grin and he burst into a deep rumble of laughter.
Nicholas laughed so long and so hard his chest hurt. “I have a magic penis?” He chortled, wiping mirth-induced tears from his eyes.
Eyes alight with amusement, she sniggered. “Why else do you think I agreed to marry you?” He got to his feet. She shot a hand out in warning. “Stay back. Do not touch me until we’ve discussed this.
He loved a challenge. Especially when given by a sexy, sleep-tousled redhead who thought he had a magic penis. “I want to get married as soon as possible,” he said, locking his gaze on her, he took a step towards her.
“Why?”
“Why not?” He took another step. “I want us to be a real family as soon as possible,”
“Why?”
Because the sooner I marry you, the sooner I know my rights as a father are protected. The less time I give you to think about it, the less time you have to change your mind, he thought, but he didn’t tell her that. He took her extended hand and pinned it above her head, staring deep into the lust-riven dark eyes.
“I… We have already lost so much. Why wait?” He cut her protest away with a kiss.
___________
Caroline was adding blusher to her cheeks when Nicholas walked into her bedroom. Her heart thumped to see him and she had to concentrate hard to affect nonchalance at his appearance and stop her hand from reacting to the thump and splodging blusher over her nose.
After they’d made the wedding arrangements that morning, Nicholas had casually mentioned they would be going to a nightclub that night to celebrate their engagement. She’d been unable to think of one good reason to refuse. Not having bothered to pack any going-out clothes, she’d got him to drop her at the main shopping district so she could buy herself an outfit to party in. She’d wandered through designer boutiques and more touristy shops with no idea why the thought of celebrating made her feel so bereft. She’d agreed to marry him. She’d called her family and told them. She’d agreed it would happen this coming weekend. She didn’t have a clue how he’d got the officials to agree for it to happen so quickly, but here she was, a day after she’d told him one of her terms for agreeing to marriage was that he had to stop taking charge, just five days from actually doing the deed.
To make the day extra special, they would be marrying on their son’s first birthday. She thought this fitting. The stars were aligning to approve her decision. So what did she have to feel bereft about? And why had she found herself wandering away from the shops and into the more residential areas with the strings of her heart tugging manically to imagine a small Nicholas playing on the uneven cobbled streets?
He walked over to where she sat at the dressing table, lifted her hair and placed a kiss to the nape of her neck. Sensation quivered deliciously over her skin.
“You smell gorgeous,” he murmured, “and you look spectacular.”
She met his reflection in the mirror and smiled through the ache growing in her chest. He looked pretty spectacular himself. Dressed in black chinos, dark gray shirt unbuttoned at the throat and a char-coal blazer, he managed to look smart, casual, elegant and devilishly handsome all at once.
“Did you get hold of your parents?” he asked.
She nodded as she opened her palette of eyeshadow.Copyright Nôv/el/Dra/ma.Org.
“And?”
“My mother said to tell you that if you hurt me, she’ll personally see that you never father another child.”
There was a flickering in his eyes but his tone remained casual. “And what did you say to that?”
“That I’m not stupid enough to let you hurt me again.” She picked up a brush and dabbed it into the glittering deep brown color and met his gaze again before applying it to her eyelids. “Our marriage is for Charlie’s sake. We both know that. And now she knows that.”
“But is she supportive of it?”
“Yes.”
“And your sister?”
“She thinks I’m mad, but she’s coming to the wedding,”
“Why does she think you’re mad?”
She shrugged, taking a fresh brush and dabbing it into the glittering gold color. She wouldn’t repeat her sister’s furious rant about Caroline throwing her life away on a man who’d happily discarded her like unwanted trash. But Elsa wasn’t a mother with a child who would thrive much better with his father a permanent part of his life. “Elsa’s in love. She thinks only people in love should marry.”