CHAPTER 8
"Anita, what I am about to tell you is not a light matter. You have to be sure that this is exactly what you want to hear," Ben urged and I was getting restless at this point.
"
"Tell me, tell me already, I want to hear," I begged. I really wanted to know more about the Alpha. Now that Ben is choosing to volunteer that information with me, I was more than happy to accept it.
"Let's go to your room, we have to be somewhere private," He said.
I didn't want him to be in my room. I didn't want us to be that close to each other but at this point in time I didn't have a choice but to accept. I had to know more about the Alpha. I couldn't help it.If I was not having a chat with him then I was busy talking about him, that shows how obsessed I was with him.
"Come in," I told Ben once we got to my room and he was so happy that I had invited him in. After locking the door behind me, I was more than ready to listen to what he had to say.
"I must commend you, you have a very tidy room,” Ben said as he looked around but I didn't appreciate that. We were here for one thing and he needed to get at it immediately.
"Tell me about the Alpha, okay," I made it clear. I was not going to have a side chat with him until he told me the truth.
Okay," He said, taking a seat on my bed as I watched him carefully. I really hoped that he had not tricked me into my room only to find out that he didn't have that information. I desperately needed that bit of information.
" Alpha Robin does not like women," He made it clear and my heart dropped. How is this possible? I really loved him, what did he mean by this?
"What are you talking about?" I scoffed. I couldn't control the disappointment that I felt. My smile quickly faded and was replaced with a frown.
"Why are you acting like you are disappointed, I really hope that you do not like him, first of all, he doesn't deserve you,” Ben said but I was not in that headspace. He had completely burst my bubble and I did not know what I was going to do with myself.
"Why do you say that?" I asked.
"He has erectile dysfunction.I mean, which girl would want to be with a guy like him knowing so well that he won't..." Ben wanted to talk some more but I warned him against it.
"That is a sickness Ben, don't act like it's his fault," I said.
"Come on, this is laughable. Imagine a strong Alpha like him is incapable of making love to a woman. I beat him on that. I am good in bed, just give me a chance and I am going to blow your mind," Ben said but I decided that I had heard enough.
"Thank you for the information, you have to go now," I said.
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Ben tried to insist on staying but I opened the door and kindly asked him to get out.
"Please Anita, I am begging you. Don't tell a soul," He begged and I nodded though I couldn't promise. A part of me felt that he was lying, I really needed to get to know the truth of the matter. After he left, I took my pillow and smashed it against the wall. What is the meaning of this?
I was really looking forward to having a good time with the Alpha but that is not going to happen.
I had preserved my virginity for a person who is going to love me unconditionally but from the turn of events, it's crystal clear that Alpha Robin is not the one. When I told him that I could do anything that he asked, I was thinking of a one night stand with him. To be honest, if he asked then I would be more than willing to give in to his requests.
How could he be so sure about this? A part of me also felt that he could be right. He had been here longer than I was hence he knew all the secrets pertaining to the Alpha. Maybe this should be enough information that I need to finally forget about him. I cannot love someone who didn't like women to begin with. Now I understand where his coldness is coming from. I really wished that he could get medical attention. With all his hard work for a pack, he deserved great sex at the end of the day from a woman that he loves the most.
As I sat on my bed and looked through the window, I wished I could be honest with myself and tell myself that this is the end of my feelings towards me but if I did that I would be lying.
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This is when I realised that I was madly in love with him. I didn't care if I would wait for years for him to make love to me but I was ready to wait. We can kiss, we can hold hands, he can suck my boobs and my clit. At least we still have that option. I was not going to give up on him, I was going to be more understanding of him. This is just a condition, it didn't define who he was as a person
It was slowly getting darker and I went ahead to close my window. It had been a long day but I was hopeful for the next day.
I was finally going to be taught how to fight by the Alpha himself and I couldn't wait to be close to him. For some reason, I could smell his scent even if he was away from me.
Was Serah waking up because of him? Had he awoken the wolf in me. My powers were starting to get stronger. and it was all thanks to him.
To be honest, he was going to be the end of me. I had fallen so madly in love with him.
Maybe I need to go and tell him the truth. I need to find him and tell him that I cannot help myself because I am madly in love with him.
Maybe no woman has ever told him that. I will make it clear that I know his condition but I am still willing to choose him.
All that I wanted was for him to say that he wanted me too. I couldn't even imagine the joy this would bring me because I knew that it was going to be intense.
I would do anything for this handsome man, my powful Alpha, Alpha Robin.