A Girl in My Life

14



(Elisa’s vision)

< Seven years after the accident ( seven days in paradise) >

The sun is shining brightly today, I keep watching the children running and having fun in the park, they laugh and jump all the time….

– What are you doing out here girl? – my mother pulls me by the arm and drags me inside the house.

I feel the tears wanting to come out heavy from my eyes, I was just watching the other children playing in the playground that is in front of our house… I never went there, nor have I ever tried to ask my mum, she always yells at me even when I don’t do anything.

“Biff” I can no longer control the tears as I feel the right side of my face burn, a sharp slap was slapped across my face.

– Who gave you permission to leave the room!? – She says very angry – Besides forcing me to see you every day, now she also wants to disturb and scare the other children who are normal? – She questions me while throwing me inside the room – If you disobey me again, this will not remain only in the slapping, you defective girl!

“Back” She closes the door with a lot of violence and that scares me, I curl up on the floor and start to cry, I am sure that today I will stay without dinner…. Just like yesterday….

What did I do that my mother hates me so much? Is it because of my imperfection? No matter what I do… I always end up getting beaten and crying.

< five years later (thirteen days Anael in paradise) >

I look at myself one more time in the mirror, smiled with what I see, two days ago a lady owner of a bazaar gave me a beautiful dress, it is white, its details are in blue flowers, she also gave me blue colored trainers to match, and to close the look, she gave me a hair broxe. She heard about the social at school, I have nothing but trousers and blouses, old and torn dresses to wear; unlike my mother, all her clothes are beautiful, new and very expensive.

On my tenth birthday, my mother for the first time gave me a birthday present, and it was well… A present I use every day… That’s right, a crutch. This facilitated my locomotion, but I still feel all the looks on me, and this every day lowers even more my already low self esteem.

I stop admiring myself when I hear the sound of my bedroom door opening and my mother appears smoking her cigarette.

– Where did you get these clothes and trainers girl? – she asks looking me up and down.

– Mrs. Jonanes gave it to me as a present? – I speak low, I don’t want to continue this conversation.

– How funny this lady, trying to put some beauty into this disgrace of yours – I feel her words hurting my heart – You should see yourself, you are ugly, defective…

– That’s enough, please – I ask with my voice embarrassed by crying.

I feel the air missing in my lungs. She has just slapped me hard on my back, the sound comes muffled in my tyanos, I can’t hold back the tears…Content (C) Nôv/elDra/ma.Org.

– Don’t you ever interrupt me again, you bitch! Don’t forget who’s in charge here! – gives me another slap on the back, but not as strong as the first one – I’ll be nice and let it go this time, now don’t get in the way of your normal colleagues’ eyes!

She finally leaves the room slamming the door as usual. I can’t hold back the tears, I lean against the wall and slide to the floor, hugging my knees and putting all my pain in tears, they are my best bells, no matter how many I shed they always had more and more.

After a few minutes I take a deep breath and calm down, I lean on my crutch and go to the bathroom, I wash my face, I have never worn any kind of makeup, I am in my natural state, my eyes are puffy and red. After wiping my face I go back to my room, get my backpack on the bed, and go to school.

The school is beautiful, the decoration is as impeccable as possible, the theme chosen by the teacher is classics, or seventies.

– Do you want to dance? – one of the boys from my class calls me.

Nobody ever wanted to talk to me, why does he want to dance with me? And my crutch, it will get in the way, here it is full of beautiful and normal girls…

– I don’t know how to dance, and my crutch would get in the way – I speak and try to move away.

– Don’t worry, you can lean on mine and leave your crutch there leaning against the wall,” he says smiling.

I look at him carefully, he is quite handsome, curly blond hair, black eyes and dark skin, is much taller than me, and just by his appearance I know there must be several girls behind him. I take a deep breath, maybe he just wants to make a charity, I never refused any help, it will not be now that I will refuse.

– All right – I accept the invitation and leave my crutch where he suggests.

I walk with a limp supported by his arm, we go to the centre of the hall, he passes his free arm around my waist.

– Two steps at a time – he says as he guides me around the room.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t learn at first, and to add to my misfortune, when I accidentally stepped on his foot, he shouted and threw me to the ground, I fell on my ass.

– Your mother said you were a complete disgrace! An imperfect woman without the slightest class! – he says and everyone around laughs at me.

I try to get up, but it is very difficult without my crutch and it is even more complicated because now they have started to throw sprays at me.

Tears once again keep me company. I get home from school and see my mother smoking on the bench in front of the school. I pretend that I didn’t see it, and in tears I go home.


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